"Walter Horowitz here with another segment of: Housing the Team"
"We all know the Mongolian Horde will be going to the playoffs and are a heavy a favorite for number 1 in the Alpha Conference, but we are not here to discuss the team per say."
"We are here to discuss, the unsung hero of the team, Mongol Stadium"
"Mongol Stadium is located in downtown Ulaanbaatar, the capital of Mongolia. Syrk bought the team in 1999 at an auction after his Midget Army idea failed. He has building on it ever sense."
"Currently it houses 47120 seats. 44300 are in the normal sections, 2320 are in the clubhouse, and 500 are in the luxury box (rumor has it, Zhrakkan owns 450 of them....) He has plans to add more sections, but that is hush hush, because Syrk is not revealing his budget to anyone!"
"Mongol Stadium, is known by many names, Painville, Ulaanbaatar Stadium, The Hospital, and of course, The Cemetary."
"This stadium, since syrk took over the team has seen millions in upgrades. Recently it had the following upgrades for the fans:
- Public floggings of visiting team mascots
- Blood donations for the visiting teams surgical staff
- Booths dedicated to Donating money to the visiting teams next of kin
- Pizza Huts
- Mongol Meatballs
- The Argal Eartery (serving up rare Mongolian Delicacies, including the fallen opponents)"
"The Pain palace, has had numerous designs made on the inside, the normal fans dont see....I will show you."
"First of all, is the Full Service Fang sharpening center to the left."
(Camera pans left, to show Rick McNasty (LB) in what looks like a dentists chair, next to SCRUBB MCRIGGS (CB) with their mouths open and nice 5 foot petite "nurses" are filing their fangs to a bloody point)
"Frightening"
"Next, to the right, is the softer side of the team, the full service Mongolian Spa treatment center."
(camera pans right to show Taz Dingo (QB) and Jimmy Lightning (WR) sitting in a boiling pool of oil, both with a big clear glass of something that looks....red...blood? J. P. (HB) is sitting in what looks like a lazy boy just next to the pool, having a gorgeous woman in what looks like....um...lingerie, giving him a .... foot massage.)
"Heavenly" says Walter
"Walking further into this underground palace is the cafeteria. To the left, that is a Pizza Hut, Luthers BBQ and, what looks like, is a new restaurant being built...Yes! Its.....AN IHOP! Zhrakkan has finally lived up to his agreement to buy the stadium an IHOP! He must have "ironed thru" those pesky city ordinances against IHOP. As we walk into the public cafeteria we see the whole offensive line here, Andre Gurode (C), RIKUS DOZE (G), Ben Brock (G), raymond rocker (OT), Harry Gant (OT), Antja Mima (OT). Antja Mima is dancing on a table covering himself with.....syrup! We need to leave...our ratings might just have gone down!"
"Lasty, we get to the offices. They are not public and Zhrakkan wont lets us back there."
"Here you go all, the reason the Horde do so well, food made to order, and luxury."
Walter Horowitz reporting....
"We all know the Mongolian Horde will be going to the playoffs and are a heavy a favorite for number 1 in the Alpha Conference, but we are not here to discuss the team per say."
"We are here to discuss, the unsung hero of the team, Mongol Stadium"
"Mongol Stadium is located in downtown Ulaanbaatar, the capital of Mongolia. Syrk bought the team in 1999 at an auction after his Midget Army idea failed. He has building on it ever sense."
"Currently it houses 47120 seats. 44300 are in the normal sections, 2320 are in the clubhouse, and 500 are in the luxury box (rumor has it, Zhrakkan owns 450 of them....) He has plans to add more sections, but that is hush hush, because Syrk is not revealing his budget to anyone!"
"Mongol Stadium, is known by many names, Painville, Ulaanbaatar Stadium, The Hospital, and of course, The Cemetary."
"This stadium, since syrk took over the team has seen millions in upgrades. Recently it had the following upgrades for the fans:
- Public floggings of visiting team mascots
- Blood donations for the visiting teams surgical staff
- Booths dedicated to Donating money to the visiting teams next of kin
- Pizza Huts
- Mongol Meatballs
- The Argal Eartery (serving up rare Mongolian Delicacies, including the fallen opponents)"
"The Pain palace, has had numerous designs made on the inside, the normal fans dont see....I will show you."
"First of all, is the Full Service Fang sharpening center to the left."
(Camera pans left, to show Rick McNasty (LB) in what looks like a dentists chair, next to SCRUBB MCRIGGS (CB) with their mouths open and nice 5 foot petite "nurses" are filing their fangs to a bloody point)
"Frightening"
"Next, to the right, is the softer side of the team, the full service Mongolian Spa treatment center."
(camera pans right to show Taz Dingo (QB) and Jimmy Lightning (WR) sitting in a boiling pool of oil, both with a big clear glass of something that looks....red...blood? J. P. (HB) is sitting in what looks like a lazy boy just next to the pool, having a gorgeous woman in what looks like....um...lingerie, giving him a .... foot massage.)
"Heavenly" says Walter
"Walking further into this underground palace is the cafeteria. To the left, that is a Pizza Hut, Luthers BBQ and, what looks like, is a new restaurant being built...Yes! Its.....AN IHOP! Zhrakkan has finally lived up to his agreement to buy the stadium an IHOP! He must have "ironed thru" those pesky city ordinances against IHOP. As we walk into the public cafeteria we see the whole offensive line here, Andre Gurode (C), RIKUS DOZE (G), Ben Brock (G), raymond rocker (OT), Harry Gant (OT), Antja Mima (OT). Antja Mima is dancing on a table covering himself with.....syrup! We need to leave...our ratings might just have gone down!"
"Lasty, we get to the offices. They are not public and Zhrakkan wont lets us back there."
"Here you go all, the reason the Horde do so well, food made to order, and luxury."
Walter Horowitz reporting....
